Killing me softly

Hey ho I H my new school. Several excuses can be list here as you read right now but I'll keep it just between me, myself and my parents.

But like seriously, its not just me. Next week, one of my friend are leaving this school. Second in take just like moi. At first, she was high spirited, taking pictures and always asked me questions till I felt like strangling her neck that moment! But I have no rights to do that and I'll be going to jail if I do that so I keep it in my mind so that no one at that particular moment knows but me. Now, she's leaving me, and some of my KL friend decided to leave this school too.

It gave me the effect, hoping to leave this school ASAP. My parents are being helpful though. But everytime I hang up the phone, gosh my heart just felt like I'm missing them so much that make me cry for every night! Do you know that crying is tiring?! GAH!

Papa keep on telling "Just focus on your studies and we'll see the results on June."
While mama "Learn to improve yourself, not to compete everyone."

But most of the people that I really wish to hear something meaningful that helps me survive here disappointed me. All they say was "Its normal" or "Memang dah adat" or "Tak pelik lah Najwa" and most annoying is "Kteorg dulu lagi teruk, so dah tak rasa pape dah" WTF?  Dude! You guys have been 4 years living in this !@#$%& of course you're immune to it! I've been living at KL a long time and I'm comfortable to the environment and now I have to learn and obey new rules that is not even a big deal. Muttafukka.

So, that is me now. Desperate to go home. Hoping everyday. And I don't give a damn what people say. *Except for my parents*

I'm hate copying

Okay, I'll be lying if I say that I never copy my friend's homeworks. But I feel horrible after copying their works! Seriously, dont you guys feel it?

Facts that make me feel like copying others :
1. I blank whenever I see the questions
2. I'm not in the mood to do my works
3. I'm suffering some pain that MAY BE causes my death :p
and most important
4. I'm too lazy to think and write!

But now I realized that doing my works with my own effort its kinda satisfying  whether I got correct answers or wrong. But I'll feel over thrilled especially I get correct! WoooHooo! So now, I, Najwa Najhan, will try to finish my homeworks by my own effort *which will make me sitting at the Dewan Makan alone while prep*  especially on Addmaths, Maths, Physics aaaa you got my point aite? :D

*Unless if I'm berry lazy because Mr.M disease had been buried in my heart since I started high school. Thanks a lot! :(

Terribly homesick :(

One week has past here at SHAH. Shoot, baru satu minggu weh. And I'm waiting for June. Dear God, please get me outta here.

Nyways, this week, not so proudly to say that my school is the tuan rumah for the upcoming drama competition and hell no budak lower form dapat balik. SHIT! And wanna know something that burns my heart? Most of the lower form decided to STAY! Terbaik gila!

Okay, for the past few days, I've been calling my parents EVERY SINGLE DAY and they never fails me to cry whenever I listened to their voice. Terseksa :S  I miss you pa, I miss you ma. And I never get tired of saying that to you. And I'm kuching-sick. NENEKKKKK! Nak jumpa nenek!  :'(

Jojo? Macam taknak ganggu dia. Maybe he is busy with his stuff so like yeah. Belum tentu dia akan reply on the spot. A bit sad lah takdapat nak text dia but I have to understand both of our situation. But I miss him.

As a conclusion :

I MISS EVERYONE AND I CANT WAIT TO GET OUTTA HERE!

Jojo

There's something that I can't quite explain 
I'm so in love with you 
You'll never take that away 
And if I've said it a hundred times before 
Expect a thousand more 
You'll never take that away 

Well expect me to be 
Calling you to see 
If you're okay when I'm not around 
Asking if you love me? 
I love the way you make it sound 
Calling you to see 
Do I try too hard to make you smile? 
To make us smile 

I will keep calling you to see 
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming 
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me 
I can't believe you actually picked me 

I thought that the world had lost it's way 
(It's so hard sometimes) 
Then I fell in love with you 
(Then came you) 
(Then came you) 
And you took that away 
(It's not so difficult, 
The world is not so difficult) 
You take away the old

Show me the new 
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you 
So while I'm on this phone 
A hundred miles from home 
I'll take the words you gave and send them back to you 

I only want to see 
If you're okay when I'm not around 
Asking if you love me? 
I love the way you make it sound 
Calling you to see 
Do I try too hard to make you smile? 
To make us smile 

I will keep calling you to see 
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming 
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me 
I can't believe you actually picked me 

Well I will keep calling you to see 
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming 
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me 
I can't believe you actually picked me 

I will keep calling you to see 
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming 
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me 
I can't believe you actually picked me 

Kuching :')

These past few days, I was at Kuching. I couldnt describe how happy I was when I'm there. Definitely excited to meet my nenek and aunties. Cousins. Miera. And of course, my sayang :') Too bad, no pictures were taken. -_- Just realized that though. Too busy talking to each other. Takpe takpe.

Everyday spending time with him was a blast. Walaupun 4days je, but its worth it. Daripada tak jumpa langsung. But, it left me with a broken heart as I waved goodbye to him. Never in my whole life I feel down like this. I may be okay later, but it'll take me weeks. Or months. I may look okay outside, but you never know how I feel inside.

I miss you b :'( Next holidays will be mid-year and raya. Although you said you're coming here during mid-year hols but its still a long time to go. 2 months. I know you asked me to be relax, cool, chill. But I guess I couldnt control my feelings anymore. I'm sorry that I have to go to Pahang. I'm sorry that I couldnt text you the whole time. I'm really sorry.

I even hold my tears when my nenek kissed me! 

Gosh, soooo not ready to go back to SHAH.